


Just A Thought

by Falcoloyd123



Category: Furry (Fandom), Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Armchair Therapy, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Original Character(s), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29895768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falcoloyd123/pseuds/Falcoloyd123
Summary: After an accident at work, Solomon is demanded to go to therapy in order to get "Whatever it is wrong with you," as his boss stated, checked out and treated. So that is where our story begins. Sit back and read as Solomon gets the help he needs.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Seeking Help

As Solomon waited for the receptionist to call his name he looked down at his feet wondering how it came to this. He had done everything he could to keep his mental state stable. “What if he laughs at me for being a waste of oxygen,” he thought to himself. 

“Maybe I didn’t do enough.” He said reprimanding himself out loud for thinking that way. 

“Solomon Filch.” He heard the receptionist faintly call his name. And even though he was waiting for this moment he still couldn’t help but jump at the sudden mention of his name, he was on edge, he felt twitchy, and a sudden compression on his chest, but he could tell he wasn’t moving. He was nervous, and he could feel it. As much as he hoped it wasn’t true, that it was all in his head he knew that he needed help... he just didn’t know how much. 

After he heard the receptionist call his name one more time he finally responded, albeit reluctantly. “Yeah... that’s me.” 

“Hello Mr. Filch, the name’s Tracey Kopps, I’m the NEW receptionist, after the last one was fired,” she looked left and right checking to see if there was anyone watching, even though Solomon was the only person there. “She was a TERRIBLE person, a real bitch if ya ask me,” she whispered chuckling soon after. 

Solomon just stared at her; a deadpan expression splayed against his face. If he were to guess that was probably supposed to be a joke but he was too in his own head for it to click in time. Which resulted in Tracey’s ears lowering. 

“Sorry about that, Dr. Conover would like to see you now... sorry for wasting your time.” Solomon could feel the embarrassment in the air, he felt a bit of secondhand embarrassment because it was his fault for not laughing at her “joke” but he thought nothing of it. 

“It’s okay, I should’ve caught the joke. I’m just a little frazzled, y’know. I don’t know how this is gonna go.” As he said that he stared at the door some more. 

“Mr. Filch,” Tracey said gaining Solomon’s attention as she snapped her fingers. It felt like 5 secs to Solomon but in reality, it was about 2-3 minutes. “Mr. Filch, I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with getting, or seeking, the help you need. We all need some help sometimes, better late than neva if ya ask me.” 

While her attempts to reassure Solomon were in good will, they simply couldn’t help Solomon. His mind was unfazed. Almost as if it was trying to actively overpower the doe, Solomon’s subconscious started to flash images in his head and conjure up thoughts of failure and worthlessness. Some of the images were as simple as him just was walking out of the building. Others, sadly, didn’t have the same luxury. As more images flashed in his head, the worst they became. Several of the images showed him being shunned for trying to receive the help he needed. Others showed him jumping out the window. The final image that he was shown, was of someone bursting through the doors, gun in paw, looking at him and taking aim. He was definitely terrified but, he was not surprised, because he had already seen it all before. 

Once that image played in his head, he had finally shaken himself out of his self-induced trance. He turned, heading towards the door, as he was leaving, he turned towards Tracey, a worried look on her face, he shook his head and seldomly spoke. “I’m sorry ma’am. You’re right, but... I can’t do this.” 

Tracey was just about to speak, but the badger was already reaching for the handle. 

Once again, she heard him speak, “I’ll be on my way now, goodbye.” 

Right before he could open the door, his paw gripping the handle for dear life, he heard the door he was staring at just moments ago start to open. He swiftly turned his head in the direction of the noise as more images started generating in his head. He couldn’t tell he was hyperventilating but he could feel it, and as he was about to pass out from the pressure on his chest getting harder and harder. He felt a large hand clasp his shoulder, and there he saw Dr. Conover, a concerned look plastered on the bear’s face. 

“Mrs. Kopps, who is this?” The deep voice of the doctor made the office rumble, and right as Tracey was about to respond, she was quickly interrupted. “Wait! Let me look at my watch,” his movements were hasty. He knew he couldn’t waste any time with this patient. 

“Ah! 4:41. Mr. Solomon Filch, I presume. Are you alright, sir? Do you need a hand or a minute to rest?” He knew that Solomon needed help, but he didn’t want to force it onto him. He wanted to give the badger a choice. 

“Doc, I can’t do this. I can’t.” Solomon’s response was one that Dr. Conover didn’t want to hear. It was a depressing reminder of what he himself has done in the past. He had heard it all the time, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt him to hear it. 

“I’m sorry Mr. Filch, but I can tell that you NEED this. I will not force you but if you could please come sit in my chair. We can work through this. Now please bear in mind, that you can always reschedule. We don’t need to do start today. Hell, we don’t have to start tomorrow... but we have to start eventually.” 

Solomon could hear the sincerity in his voice, he also knew that he’d probably say that to every single person that was apprehensive about talking about their lives, but he gave in to the pressure in his chest. He started blinking rapidly, he knew he was about to cry, it was something he didn’t like doing in front of people but he eventually started to bawl uncontrollably, it was something he hadn't one in years, and Dr. Conover could tell. 

While Solomon was pouring his emotions out of his eyes, empathy clouded Dr. Conover’s actions as he approached the disheveled badger, getting on one knee, and encasing him in a tight hug. It was the sort of hug a parent would give to their child, a hug that only a parent could give. 

With a clear of her throat, Tracey gained the attention of the doctor. “You guys want me t’give ya some space,” she asked quietly not wanting to disturb the situation in front of her, but it was too late. When the doctor noticed what he was doing, he released Solomon, and with a clear of his own throat, he spoke. 

“No Mrs. Kopps, you can stay right there,” he then turned his attention to Solomon. “Mr. Filch, are you ready to come into my office?” His voice was about as friendly, and reassuring, as he could get it. 

Solomon wasn’t exactly sure if he was ready mentally, but he knew that it was finally time to get the help that he needed, and so with a pinch of nervousness, but mostly clarity, he spoke. “Yeah. I’m ready.” 

And with that Dr. Conover led Solomon to his office. Where he will hopefully get the help he so desperately needed.


	2. Session I: Talk About Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solomon and Dr. Conover start their very first session together. What happens next is anyone's guess.

As Solomon walked into Dr. Conover’s office, he noted the many bookcases filled with books about the study of the mind, behavioral research, and normal encyclopedias. There were also pictures of Dr. Conover and Tracey, that piqued Solomon’s interest. Some with, probably, friends and family, but he wouldn't know unless he asked.

“Oh, are you and Tracey a thing?” He asked nonchalantly. 

The question seemed to bring a smile to the bear’s face. “If I had a dollar for every time I got asked that question, I wouldn’t be working here.” He chuckled. 

“So, what’s with the pictures?” 

It was a simple question that just seemed to spark some type of childlike joy into the bear. “I’ll tell you after today’s session. Deal?” A sly smile formed across the bear’s face. 

The same smile crept onto Solomon’s face as well. “Deal.” 

“With that settled, let’s start the session, shall we?” Dr. Conover asked still reinforcing the freedom of choice to Solomon. 

“We shall. What do y’wanna know, Doc?” Solomon said trying to feign his enthusiasm for the session. 

“Well, since you want to learn a bit about me. How about we learn a bit more about you besides, well your name? Tell me something you like about yourself.” After that question, he gave an inquisitive look towards the badger. 

“Oh! Uh... I guess I- uh-” Solomon raked through his mind, in an attempt, to find something he liked about himself but alas he couldn’t really find anything. 

Dr. Conover couldn’t help it, but a frown formed on his face, as well as a twinge of guilt in his head. “Okay, how about something, or someone, in your life? What do you like about them?” 

Almost immediately Solomon could think about his friends. “Gosh, where do I start? Clyde’s funny, Celia’s smart and strong, and Aiden is a jerk at times, but he’s probably the greatest best friend I could ask for.” 

The immediate response was a major improvement from barely being able to answer at all to Dr. Conover. Once again, he gave Solomon a knowing look, but it was something that Solomon could never really attention to, he just didn’t have it in him to say anything about it at the time. Solomon’s attention then went from his look to Dr. Conover’s mumbling something under his breath, and then to him scribbling some notes into a journal of some kind. 

“Mr. Filch, why was it so easy for you to come up with positives for your friends, but not yourself?” Dr. Conover questioned. 

As much as Solomon wanted to lie, he knew that it wouldn’t get him the help he needed. All he needed to do was answer the questions and move on with his life after 3-4 sessions. Therapy never really worked for him. Hopefully, this time is different. 

“To put this as bluntly, and as simply as I can...” He hesitated to wonder if this question would make him look bad. “I couldn’t think of anything, everything that was positive had a negative and then I could only think of negatives. I really find it hard to talk about myself. It’s always been a problem, I’m in a shell that’s impossible to crack, it’s hard.” It was tough to answer but that was the best response he could come up with. 

With another few brief strokes of his pen to the journal, more notes were pasted onto the journal and Dr. Conover didn’t know how to respond. It was a tricky subject to handle but he needed to ask one more question. He needed more information on Solomon. 

“Another question, Solomon.” 

“Shoot, Doc.” Albeit slightly crestfallen in himself, Solomon still decided to continue. Putting the most optimistic front he could muster. 

Dr. Conover let out an exhausted sign as he tried to think of a good way to phrase his question. “Which is more important to you, Solomon? Self-worth, or self-confidence? And, I won’t force you to, but can you explain why.” 

This was probably both the easiest and the hardest, question Solomon had to answer. It was easy because he knew the answer, but it was hard because he didn’t know why. Once again, he was slipping into his thoughts, not wanting to leave the answer without an explanation. 

“Solomon.” Dr. Conover beckoned. 

He noticed that just like the very first question he asked him, he was unresponsive. He already had an idea what the badger would pick, he just needed to get it out of him. “Solomon, do you have an answer?” His voice was serious, he wanted an answer. No, he NEEDED an answer, if he wanted to really help the badger, he needed an answer. 

Cluing in on the tone of the bear’s voice, Solomon knew he had to say something. “I have an answer, I just don’t know how to explain it.” His voice was low, and he hung his head low, he was disappointed in himself. 

“Then don’t explain it.” Dr. Conover’s tone was harsh, but gentle as well. “I can see you’re struggling, Solomon. We have many other sessions after this to get you to the point where you can explain that answer. This profession calls for me to be patient, and I am willing to be if you think you are not ready to explain yourself, and even then, you don’t have to. Solomon, you can just answer the question.” 

While the serious tone of Dr. Conover’s voice worried the badger at first. He could see that it was really a tone he only ever used whenever he is desperate. It added a certain type of sincerity to his words, and so the badger finally thought of an explanation for his answer. 

“Self-worth is more important to me.” 

“As I thought, now why is that? Again, you don’t have to explain it now, but try to find a way to explain it later.” Dr. Conover reinforced; his tone was a lot more relaxed than before seeing the badger finally open up to him. 

“Self-worth has always been something I thought I lacked. So, I started to try and focus on it more than self-esteem, or self-confidence.” It was a simple explanation but Dr. Conover couldn’t have had it any other way. 

Dr. Conover was pleased that Solomon was able to explain himself. He wasn’t expecting him to. Not because he thought so little of him, but because he would’ve liked to take it slower than his usual sessions, but something bugged him. He looked at his watch; the time read 5:57. He and Solomon had been going for more than an hour. He frowned, but soon after a smile crept upon his face. 

“Solomon, one last question before I share something about me, and then we’ll end today's session. Is that fine with you?” 

Do y’really have to ask, Doc? Shoot.” 

“When you gave your explanation, you mentioned that self-esteem and self-confidence took more of a backseat in your life. Why didn’t you also include self-knowledge into your explanation?” 

“I already know a lot about myself. My strengths. My weaknesses. How most, if not all of my strengths, feed my weaknesses. I know too much about myself for it not to have some importance in my life.” 

Solomon’s response made Dr. Conover gleam with jubilance. “Excellent answer, Solomon.” 

“Now about me and Tracey. If my earlier retort didn’t hint at our relationship, I will tell you now that Tracey and I are not a thing. We are however related. I only say Mrs. Kopps to stay professional during work hours.” 

Solomon’s jaw was agape, he couldn’t believe it. “Wait, what! Doc, are y’serious?!” Solomon was in shock. “How are they related?” kept coming into his mind shadowing over the negative thoughts he had during the session. 

“Before we leave, one more thing, Solomon.” A positive you could’ve used was your self-knowledge. Not many people can say what their weaknesses are, let alone that strengths feed them. The next session is overmorrow. See you at 4:30, Solomon.” 

“Yeah, see you then Doc.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, Falcoloyd here, I would like to think you for reading the second chapter of "Just A Thought" I hope that this chapter of the story is a worthy inclusion to it. I would appreciate it if you would comment on what you think about it. All criticisms are welcome, as long as it is constructive criticism.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya, Falcoloyd here, I would like to think you for reading the first chapter of "Just A Thought" I wanted to redo my last attempt at a Zootopia fanfic cause I knew that I could do better than that. I would appreciate it if you would comment on what you think about it. All criticism is welcome, as long as it is constructive criticism.


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